t h i r t y - o n e

What is it about turning a new age that causes so much self-reflection? We seem to gather our thoughts on our past year of life and either greet our new age with arms wide open or lament our previous year as we grow older. 

I've been the lamenting type and I've had the painful years where birthdays were a reminder of things that were yet to come, but this year I'm the girl with the arms wide open. I. LOVED. THIRTY. And I want to shout it from the rooftops.

Photo by  Kandis Marino

Photo by Kandis Marino

I look around at teenagers today and truly feel for them. It was so hard to be a teenager. Who even are you? Where do you fit in? What's your purpose here? And then you enter your 20s ready-or-not and still feel like a high-schooler only now you're expected to land a solid career and have your life figured out, get married and have 1-3 children all before you turn 30. Right? Cultural stigmas and pressures are so real.


But then you reach 30. Big, bright and wonderful 30... the year that used to haunt me because I felt like 30 was somehow the end. But OH MY GOSH it has been the beginning for me. I feel like a veil has been lifted from my eyes. Thirty has been my favorite age of my life so far and I wish I could hold on to it forever... but then again I don't. Because I'm growing so much every day it's crazy. And you want to know why I'm growing so much? Because I'm seeking the Lord like never before. And I'm making a point to search for lessons in difficult moments. I'm loving harder, having more deep & meaningful conversations, attempting to be more generous whenever I see a need and I'm reminding myself constantly about what is truly important in life. I'm giving people the benefit of the doubt, doing my best to stay out of judgment and in my own circle of holiness where I just focus on M E . 

Someone in our fellowship lost their sister to cancer recently and our pastor has been speaking recently about the two things she talked about most while on her deathbed: faith and family. Why does it take us so long... or why does it sometimes take a terrible tragedy for us to look up from a busy life and put what's important back at the forefront of our lives? Faith and family. 

Photo by  Kandis Marino

Photo by Kandis Marino

Am I rambling? My thoughts are probably totally out of order. But I'm just so flingin' flangin' excited to be 31. I don't know what this year holds. It could bring pain, it could bring surprise, it could bring prosperity, it could bring me to my knees. But so far... it's gained knowledge of the Lord, a couple of miracles, some new endeavors and a whole lot of love. 

Photo by  Emmy Quinn

Photo by Emmy Quinn

I embrace this wonderful new year and thank God for my age because I know its a privilege to have had 31 years of life.